A face full of Anthony Joshua!
The original title of this blog was going to be the Monster Minnow Midlands Mashup however due to a lack of minnows of any size there was no monsters or mashup and a title just stating midlands didn't sound exciting enough, nothing against my mates in brum. We had arranged this trip a few weeks previous and while the southwest had been battered by strong winds the midlands had suffered freezing temps, snow and flooding. I hadn't considered that anything could effect a minnow hunt, so obliging are these little fish that they have often been caught using just an empty bottle. The guide I had conned / cajouled into helping me on the this task was long term friend and my Eel angling hero Nick Rose aka El Presidente! I asked Nick to guide us to a plethora of mini freshwater fish to include Minnow, Gudgeon, Bleak and Dace, a task Nick appeared happy to do. So the weekend of the trip arrived and we decided to leave on the Friday to have a steady trip up to Birmingham, size 16 to 20 hooks to nylon and various pints of maggots were obtained. Nick messaged with the news the rivers were unfishable and most had burst their banks, I knew at that point deep down we had just lost the minnows! Like any professional guide worth his salt El Presidente had formulated another plan and other species were on the cards so it was game on.
The Citroen Picasso Desire made short work of the M5 while still remaining within the legal speed limits and before we knew it we pulled up onto the Presidential palace our home for a couple of days. We had a quick brew and a team talk before heading out after a target for the cameraman, Chris I'm after 53 species Hodgson. Chris hadn't had a Zander in the united kindom so we would target them on one of the labyrinth of canals in the area, stopping on route at one of the country's great tackle shops, now owned by a national chain.
We also stopped and tried a tiny stream exiting a lake that may have thrown up a Gudgeon. The tiny stream was in fact pushing through at a rate of knots and chocolate brown in colour, we assembled our whips and thrashed the water into a foam. For non anglers a whip is a small carbon pole used for catching mini species quickly or in our case amusing the local commuters as two grown men perch precariously on a narrow bridge over a flooded ditch with children's rods.
Despite our best efforts we didn't manage a bite, I had a feeling the bait wasn't popular as i observed the myriad of water beetles bringing the maggots we chucked in back to the surface as if they were cleaning their little homes. So we moved on to the Zander spot and a lovely section of canal that produces small school Zander quite regularly. I need a Zander for my challenge but I have a great trip arranged for them later in the year with good friend Steve McDonald where I will be hoping for one of the big ones. We cast out the rods and waited, it wasn't long before Chris managed his first Zander, taking several in quick succession, my rods on the right hand side remained motionless despite the bait and rigs being the same. Chris had a 3lb zander that a Pike had tried to eat and its side showed a big bite mark still fresh, it did however swim away fine. Chris ended his zander session with a lovely fish just under 8lbs, seen below.
The temperature had dropped dramatically and a frost had formed on the grass and our rods were sparkling in the moonlight, I finally got a turn when a small Zander took the bait, fingers crossed I get a bigger one later in the year. By now we were all freezing, hungry and achieved our goal so Nick took us back home for a well needed curry and cider, quite literally Cider with Rosie!
We soon polished off the food and drink and with my species challenge still firmly in my mind I decided to try and pull a fast one, El Presidente has a presidential sized koi pond in his garden and as he was the guide he should cater to his clients wishes. I quickly set up the mini pen rod with a float and tiny hook and went out into the garden in the total darkness, nicks security light flicked on as I walked past illuminating the pond. Much of this big pond is shrouded in thick weed and there are some stunning Koi over 7lbs in weight, not something I would want to hook on the mini rod. I threw in some maggots and the other two stood laughing as I tried to cast the float to the right spot, just as I did the light went off. I had to jump and wave my arms to get the light on again this was an ongoing procedure and the neighbours must have assumed that Nick was running angler Zumba classes. Once we had the timing sorted of casting, dancing and baiting with maggots the fish finally got used to the float. Suddenly it disappeared as a fish took the bait, the tiny rod bent double as I battled with some type of golden beast, "net, net" I shouted remembering what the challenge was all about. Nick appeared at my side brandishing a child's beach dipping net " it wont fit in there" I laughed as the ghillie struggled to get the fish head first in the tiny net. Amazingly we got the stunning fish a Golden Orfe in the net and landed it, the tiny pen rod had tamed the beast and what's more it was species number 9!
The next morning I woke and decided that there was enough light filtering through the curtains to get dressed by, I reached for my Christmas present deodorant spray, essence of Joshua. A gift from my wonderful mother in law that I thought would be perfect for the road trip, problem was I hadn't used a spray deodorant for many years preferring the simplicity and efficiency offered by a roll on. I fumbled with the grenade shaped device unable to find a button or trigger as I got more annoyed I found myself staring closer at the device it did not seem to have an exit point for the spray, suddenly I had twisted the top and a button flicked up which in my excitement I jammed my thumb on, whoosh a powerful jet of the essence of Joshua filled my lungs, nose and eyes clearly the same substance used in a riot. Hence the title of the blog and apologies for digressing but this is a warning that like the great boxer who endorses this spray it can knock you off your feet.
We were soon fed and watered by our wonderful host and being delivered to our next venue, due to the cold temperatures and high water levels Nick had decided to fish a tiny back water that joins the canal from a nearby lake. The little spot could throw up several species and Nick who had put himself under a bit of pressure to help me with this challenge really hoped it would come good. We approached the swim and I noticed a sign floating in the canal , it read " No fishing on this side", reminding me of the sign in the film Jurrassic Park, "This way to the dock" and that sign swivelled in a number of directions. This sign could have floated from the other side or from further up the canal so I wasn't sure if we were pushing boundaries or not.
We arrived at the spot and I'm sure they filmed the Swamp Beast at this bayou like location, the rain was pouring and the small body of water appeared devoid of life, well accept the odd Gator. We had walked past many lovely comfy looking swims to get to this jungle but at times like this you must go with the guides advice and we got the rods in the water like we were told.
Chris suddenly exclaimed " Gudgeon on " as he swung in the first shimmering little fish which was indeed a gudgeon. I was then into a fish which headed for the snags great fun on a whip and I soon landed species 10 a small Chub what a start.
I added another Chub straight away and then a Perch before finally getting my first of many Gudgeon .
I swapped tactics to the quivertip and swimfeeder to try for something bigger. It wasn't long before the rod tip bounced and swung round, I played and landed another different species in the shape of the Bronze Bream incredible from this little patch of water.
Chris was next with a fish on the quvivertip landing his first ever Chub again not huge but great fun on the light tackle and in difficult conditions.
I switched back to the whip in an effort to target a Roach and by regularly feeding maggots I was soon getting quick bites that were really hard to strike. Finally my reactions caught up with one of this lightning bites and finally a Roach made an appearance, fantastic species fishing. I should say that this little spot appeared to have been used recently by a bunch of toe rags leaving litter and beer cans everywhere, Nick bagged this all up and disposed of it, a true angler!
We continued catching Perch and Gudgeon but no further Roach or Chub appeared, I tried a Pike rod just in case a predator had moved in but that was it for the day. We were off to the pub to celebrate a fantastic day of light tackle fishing in a little backwater that could easily be ignored, Nicks experience gifted us that day without a doubt. Nick had a final treat for us on that damp but great day to visit a local hostelry to see the big Eel over the fireplace, I love my eels so I was genuinely excited to see this eel. We entered the bar which you could hardly fit one man and a guitar in only to find a man with a guitar sat there, however directly above the scruffy haired musician hung a huge eel in a case. I say eel as I can only assume it was once an eel but had sadly died and been stuffed with Duplo bricks as the eel was contorted as if fed through a mangle then bleached. Such a shame and I would class the poor beast of more of a zombie eel than any resemblance of a real eel.
We finished our pints just as Bustin Jeber started his set, photographer chris jumped up stating "vocals mate, don't worry im a sound engineer",he then proceeded to fiddle with the guys sound mixer before claiming it was now sorted. We left the pub prior to the start of the act and I had visions of a massive squealing feedback disaster occurring for the poor lad, of course I could be wrong and chris could indeed be the sound mans Robin Hood going from pub to pub taking from the talented and giving to the tone deaf. So back to Nicks for the final night, Chinese takeaway, cider and maybe another pond raid!
It turned into another pond raid and the Pen Rod once again doing the business as I managed to stalk one of the elusive Goldfish and persuade it to eat the pink maggot. So there it was species number 14 what a great weekend. The next day we had a few hours before I was meeting my daughter for lunch in Bristol and Nick took us to a tributary off the River Severn that could produce Pike, Bleak and Dace so we headed off with a fair bit of confidence.
That was the plan and there was still a lot of water pushing through the river which in fact is normally a 2m stream, despite a few hours effort it was a session to far and nothing showed. Time had come to end what had been a fantastic weekend and I was itching to catchup with my little girl so we packed up happy and planning our return in the summer for a few other species. We cannot thank Nick enough a truly wonderful host and dear friend who's company I enjoy immensely. Thankyou so much mate from us but more importantly from the Stroke Association who you have helped immensely this weekend, p.s don't put my Nash Hoodie on and eat onions! Cheers chris for the usual and for any frustrated musicians you may help or hinder over the course of this challenge. Thanks to my wonderful wife who let me go off for the weekend chasing minnows. I wish a speedy recovery to all effected by or suffering from a Stroke including the familys involved.
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